…measured between the chassis of the Leslie and the ground on his rack and got 172v.
So dude’s getting baked with a buck seventy two. Fine?…



My mom had squirrels in her attic so I went over and installed a metal door over the hole with a fish weight on it to hold it down. They could push it open but weren’t able to pry it open to get back in. It was like a check valve for squirrels. Yeah…a squirrel check valve.


Cursory fan

I like to sit in a bar and sip a couple beers and spew sports facts that I heard on the TV 2 hours earlier. If they start to ask questions, it usually turns out badly.


Potato Sack Girl

I don’t want to meet her because I have this preconceived notion about her and I like to make fun of her in my head. If I met her, I’d probably like her, and that would be bad.


New, New Guy

Here’s what you have to look forward to. At the end of this tour you’re going to have a little bit of money, and you’re going to be fun at a party. That’s it. Otherwise, you’re a broken down, sway back old mule.


Ordering lunch

GB- Burrito. Brown, Black, Chicken, Hot, Corn, lettuce.

Chipotle Guy- Well, that was concise.

GB- You want to know where I went to college and my mom’s maiden name? You and I have a burrito in common. Let’s keep it at that.