See, it’s not just you. I’m an equal opportunity asshole.
GB
"The kids are clamoring for new posts" … "Just cuz you want me to say funny shit for your enjoyment"
See, it’s not just you. I’m an equal opportunity asshole.
GB
I could really go for bacon wrapped butter with a ham glaze.
-GB
That’s all booze! It’s all rita and no marg.
-GB
Not my website, it’s some else’s. Oohhh…..maybe some caramel corn will make me happy.
GB
Good thing she’s a psychic, she can tell me I have bunions on my ass!
-GB
If there’s quality coming out, I know it.
-GB
He’s going to crush that really hard and turn peat moss into diamonds.
GB
If you feel as though you’re about to say something clever, speak into the microphone please. Thank you.
-GB
I don’t wanna get all Greg House on your ass, but that just does not make any sense
I don’t know why….and we’re never going to know, really
GB
You should be nervous. If you’re not nervous, you’re a dumbass.
GB
Stupid? NOT stupid….just uninformed. Stupid is an unrecoverable fall.
GB
I wish to enjoy some visqueen please, sir.
GB
Yeah, a chicken brain is like the size of a pea. That’s why you’re better off getting a robot chicken.
GB
Be careful upon that which you hock ginders.
-GB
I thought there was going to be gold shooting out of your mouth, but it wasn’t what I was expecting.
-BG
It’s a shame we’re not gonna be in Minnesota that long, because you sure can buy some nice tackle boxes up there.
GB
Awesome! I escaped New York without making any enemies. I actually had a pretty good time.
-GB
I’m not belittling you, I’m just teaching you in a way that will help you remember… by belittling you.
– GB
You see, the thing about being a higher primate is that we learn from our mistakes.
GB
I don’t know, because we’re going into the teeth of rush hour.
GB
It would be hard to dispute that, even for me. I’m a big disputer!
GB
Go ahead and talk, I’m listening. I don’t care, but I’m listening.
GB
Okay… I’m gonna go get some tea because I’m not currently grinding my teeth enough.
GB
Now that you’ve washed your hands, I’ll let you help me.
GB
Man look at the best western, it’s a jammed with the peebos!
GB
Awesome. It’s like listening to my head inside.
GB
The milk is never free. It’s just reduced price.
-GB
That’s alright…..you have every right to be wrong.
GB
I’m swell until you actually meet me. On paper, I’m f*¢kjng great!
GB
I’m really optimistic, but you know that about me.
GB
GB: ….that’s where I developed the LTP method.
BG: LTP method?
GB: Learn Through Pain
To tell you the truth, in the grand scheme of things, I am a liability.
-GB
As a card carrying heathen,
So, at any rate…that was a festive load out.
-GB
It’s good to know useless people. It makes you feel better about yourself.
GB
A test bite from even a medium sized shark can be pretty hard-core.
-GB
If there’s one thing you can tell by watching all the Bond films it’s that high cheek bones never go out of fashion.
-GB
I spend a lot of my life thinking of ways not to touch stuff.
-GB
I’m allowed to have selective memory about things that hurt me deeply.
-GB
You gotta run a broom through the shop every now and then…
-GB
Almost everything I say is not common…it’s more retarded.
-GB
I’m as serious as the heart attack I will soon have.
-GB
‘Cuz he’s a child and has plenty of time for his life to become miserable….like mine.
-GB
PANCAKES.
-GB
Yeah some days Darwin gets to live the dream.
– GB
My dad is the lunatic fringe of peanut butter.
-GB
It’s hard being the stupidest person in your family.
-GB
It was colder than a well digger’s ass down there.
-GB
If you use irregardlessly people will know that you know irregardless isn’t a word.
-GB
I was hunkered down behind the rack waiting for it all to go south.
-GB
It’s like me calling and saying that I wanted my thigh-master signed by Oprah.
-GB
“You’re the smartest dumbass I know!”
-MR
I apparently once was interesting…
-GB
Because everything has a caveat…
-GB
We can do any number of a couple of things.
GB
Wow! You’re in an even darker place than me…..and that’s bad
-GB
There’s no outputs coming out of that thing right now….so yeah.
-GB
Who coded this thing?? That guy is a scumbag
-GB